Does the shadow of “lazy” affect your well being and could you find the gifts of being diagnosed with a disease?

How many of you can’t be with the shadow of lazy? Wanted to share something a client of mine got from one of our coaching session. She remembered at the age of 6 that she had to lay in bed for hours in the morning and was not allowed to get out until her mother was up. Her mother would sleep in on the weekends and the children had to stay still in bed, whether they were awake or not until she was awake. My client felt very oppressed by this. As a 6 year old, she decided that she wasn’t allowed to move on with her life because her mother was lazy and was in bed. She swore she would never be like her mother or do that to her children. As a result, she never allowed herself to sleep in late or do something she considered lazy because it would mean that she was just like her mother. The few times she slept in late, she always felt tremendous guilt. In addition, she realized that her depression was created out of this. By being depressed, she subconsciously gave herself permission to stay in bed and it was the only time it was allowed. My client finally got the gift and wisdom of lazy and was able to feel a great amount of compassion for herself and for that 6 year old. Most of all, she was also able to feel compassion for her mother who never had time for herself because she raised 8 children. She finally understood that laying in bed in the morning was the only time her mother was able to have to herself.

This is how the shadow works. If you can’t be with lazy, guess what, lazy won’t let you be…….or rest! How does resisting lazy affect your life?

I found out how resisting lazy affected my life in such a big way. I was diagnosed with MS at the end of this past summer. I believe that there are many subconscious beliefs about myself that has led my health in this direction. I am one of those type A personality that is always moving, going and doing. For years, I always felt guilty whenever I was lazy or wasn’t doing something. I even had a hard time relaxing and just enjoying my vacations. I’ve worked on this for years and learned how to be more present, slow down and say no. Through the shadow work, I learned that I deserved all those things. However, after having my children, I took on a whole new truck load of limiting beliefs that all fall in the category of “should’s” and “have to’s”. I’m sure all you parents out there can relate. Self care made it to the bottom of my priority list, and if I took time for myself, it always included feelings of guilt, anxiety and/or fear. I personally believe the guilt and stress I have created for myself over the last 7 years has created the MS in my body.

MS is an auto immune disease where your immune system attacks the myelin sheath around the nerves of the central nervous system and creates lesions. My own body believes that the myelin which protects the nerves is a foreign body. Think about this symbolically. My own body is working against itself and can’t recognize which cells are the bad guys or the good guys. To me, it makes perfect sense as there is always a part of me fighting another part of myself. There is the part that always feels like she should be doing something and there is another part that says I should slow down, say no or rest. There is a constant battle inside my head arguing what is right or wrong for me.

Most people that get a diagnosis of MS are devastated at first. So was I. I definitely had my pity party and grieved for several weeks. I had many fears related to what was going to mean to my physical capabilities and what restrictions, if any, I was going to face. I’m a very active, fit and otherwise very healthy person. Being told I had MS didn’t make sense to me at first. How could someone like me who had taken such good care of herself have something like this? Then I thought, well, how arrogant of me to think that someone else should have it instead of me. After processing this for a little while I came to a new place. A place of understanding, acceptance and gratitude. I chose to look at this as an opportunity for new growth, a new level of spirituality and a gift. There has already been many gifts of MS. The first and most wonderful gift I received was all the love, support and compassion my friends and family gave me. Many people connected me with other people who have MS so that I could gain more information and know that you can live a very normal life with this disease.

You might laugh at the other gift I became aware, but I was so excited at the idea that I don’t have to do heavy yard work anymore! I live in South Florida where it is obviously hot and heat if one of the things I now have to avoid as it exacerbates all my symptoms. I use to bag over 100 bags of oak tree leaves every year and now I can delegate that job! Yes!

Another gift of MS has been that I have cleaned up my diet. Although I have had an overall very healthy diet, I was still eating refined sugar and drinking diet coke. Occasionally, I would stop for one of those delicious Starbucks cinnamon dolce latte! I have cut out sugar, caffeine, diet coke and having far less wheat, gluten, and dairy. I’m staying away from things that can affect my central nervous system and/or create inflammation in my body.

However, as I like to save the best for last. The best thing about MS for me is that it has given me a stronger voice. I’ve been able to say “no” without feeling guilty, taking naps without feeling guilty, speaking up when I feel that compromising would go against my higher self and setting up structures to create what I know is the absolutely right and best thing for me. It’s also allowed me to accept people’s help which has always been difficult for me. I like to do things on my own and not have to depend on others. This is allowing me to depend on others and beautiful friendships with other moms have flourished out of this. I’m now focussing on healing myself and continue to look for the gifts and opportunities MS is giving me.

So, does your resistance to the shadow of “lazy’ affect your life? Really look at where you are out of integrity with yourself, what battles do you hear inside your head against yourself, where do you over compromise and where do you short change yourself around self care. I’m not saying you will get MS like me, but I do believe that all of those limiting thoughts affect our health. For some, it might look like cancer, heart disease, skin disorders, and for others, it might look like obesity, depression, or fatigue.

Take an inventory this week and see what you can shift to give yourself more attention, love, and self care. Let me know what you find. It’s never too late to turn your health or well being around.

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