How to Start 2016 With True Inner Confidence


New beginnings can be exciting or stressful. For many, the new year can be motivating, a new opportunity to finally reach certain goals and create that vision you have desired for so long of how you want your life to look like. For many others, the new year can be fearful, depressing and anxiety producing. Even though 2015 looked very promising a year ago, some of you will review the last 12 months with disappointment and feeling of having been defeated once again. Therefore, it can be daunting to imagine that 2016 will be any different. This will definitely zap your confidence away before you can even start imagining an amazing new year.

We don’t want that! So, let’s start 2016 differently. There are several things you can do to start this new year differently and feeling confident. First, you want to set yourself up to win and succeed. Before you even write down any goals, you want to review 2015 and change your perspective on it. If you had a great year, that is fabulous and you want to celebrate yourself for it. You can write a list of all the things you accomplished or feel good about that happened in 2015 and acknowledge yourself for having created your goals by celebrating. Do something special for yourself that means a lot to you or that is fun. It could be getting a massage, buying yourself a gift, going to a special restaurant, dancing with your favorite music or sending yourself a congratulation card! Remember that things you can acknowledge yourself for can include having reached a goal, having changed a behavior for the better, having improved your way of thinking, having lessen the negative internal dialogue, being more loving towards yourself or others, or having implemented more self-care. When creating your celebration, be creative and make it fun for YOU!

If 2015 was not so great, you want to review the year without beating yourself up. Write a minimum of 10 things you accomplished or feel grateful for. Look at all the things you can acknowledge yourself for that happened during the last 12 months. I promise there will be more than 10 but write at least 10 of them. Once you have made your list, write a letter of forgiveness to yourself for all the things you are still beating yourself up for or that you didn’t accomplish. Think of things you might feel shameful about, guilty about, or anything that you use against yourself to make yourself wrong or not good enough. Pretend that you are a child who did not get all the support, resources and love you needed in 2015 and write a letter from the perspective of a wise and loving parent, teacher or grand-parent. Have the wise adult tell the child that she did not have what was needed to create all of her goals or vision and that she is completely forgiven. Let the child know how loved and capable she is and that you, as the wise and loving adult, will be there for her in 2016 to support her the best way possible.

Once you have changed your perspective on 2015, and have forgiven yourself, you can now begin to create a new vision for 2016. In order to set yourself up to win and succeed, write down your goals by asking yourself the following questions:

  1. Is my goal realistic to ME?

  2. Is my goal specific and measurable?

  3. Can my goal be broken down into simple steps?

  4. Can my goal be broken down into daily, weekly and monthly tasks?

  5. Once you determine what needs to be set in place to reach your goal, ask yourself, “Am I WILLING to do what is needed?”

  6. What might get in my way of accomplishing my goal? This could be a limited belief you have about yourself, an old habit, a person in your life or some outside uncontrollable circumstances.

  7. Am I willing to give up what might get in my way? For example, if you have the belief that you are not good enough, are you willing to give up that belief and if so, are you willing to get the support you need to do that? If you have a habit of going to bed too late or not getting enough sleep which affects your energy level the next day to do what you want to do, then are you WILLING to go to bed earlier? If so, are you WILLING to set up the structure you need in order to get to bed earlier and can you have someone hold you accountable? You have to really look at your willingness to do or not do something when setting up your goals. If you know you are not willing to give up something in order to reach a specific goal, then DO NOT set that goal. You will only sabotage yourself. The key here is to set yourself up to win! If you have the willingness but have difficulty following through, get support or an accountability partner.

Remember that YOU WANT TO SET YOURSELF UP TO WIN!!!!! Goals do not have to be grand or larger than life. You want to set up goals that will create success for YOU even if it is in small chunks or might seem insignificant to someone else. Once you succeed at one, you will build that confidence muscle. You can then increase the challenge and continue working out that confidence muscle to get stronger and stronger. People that run marathons didn’t go out one day and run 26 miles for the first time. They started with 1 mile and increased their distance over time.

True inner confidence is gained by exercising that muscle, having goals that are aligned with your true needs and wants, setting yourself up to win and acknowledging yourself for all of your wins and successes!

Imagine the big celebration you will be having at the end of this new year!!! I can’t wait to celebrate with all of you. Don’t forget to have mini celebrations in between.

For all of you reading this who are in South FL and who want to truly step into manifesting an amazing year, come and join me in January for The JourneyDance™ of Manifestation – Live the Life you Desire! See the schedule at

If you would like additional support to stay motivated and be inspired, follow me on FB and twitter for daily inspirational quotes. You can also sign up for bi-monthly confidence boosters at

I wish you the very best year filled with joy, good health and true inner confidence.




Sonia Hankin, LMHC

Your Confidence Coach

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