Buy yourself flowers and chocolates! Not any chocolates……YOUR FAVORITES! Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Many years ago, I decided that I loved having fresh flowers in my house. I was not going to wait for the ONE DAY out of the year when my husband was most likely to come home with a new orchid for me. I decided to buy myself flowers and have done for years on a bi-weekly basis. It is very rare that you walk into my house and not see a vase full of fresh flowers. It just puts a smile on my face.
Valentine’s Day is coming up and for some of you, it’s just another day. For others, it has soooo much meaning! I remember being in my 20’s and feeling devastated that I did not receive any flowers or chocolates at my office. I would see deliveries come in for others and think, “what is so wrong with me that no one sending me anything?” If I was in a relationship at the time, I would have such high expectations of what that day was suppose to be like and all that I envisioned my boyfriend “should” do for me! Now that I’m older, Valentine’s Day does not have hold the same meaning anymore. It is no longer a disappointment whether I am acknowledged that day or not. What does it mean to you? Ask yourself these questions:
If I am in a committed and loving relationship, do I expect my partner to lavish me with gifts or acts of kindness on Valentine’s Day?
If my expectations are not met, what do I make it mean about myself? What is your story? (i.e. I’m unlovable, I’m unworthy, I don’t matter, I am not deserving, I’m invisible, I’m not good enough, etc.) If you responded with any of the above, take the one statement that has the most charge and then ask, “How and where do I treat myself in an unworthy way?” Make a list of 3 things you do to yourself that feed into that story. Replace those 3 things or behaviors with 3 self-love behaviors. Self-love can mean so many things. Acts of self-love are different for everyone. Pick your top 3 and put them on your calendar during the month of February and plan out how YOU want your Valentine’s Day to look like. Send yourself the perfect card!!!! If your partner has never gotten it right on this day, just the way you would like it, S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T for him or her! Unless you have major psychic abilities, he or she CANNOT READ YOUR MIND!!! Ask for what you want and need. It does not have to be an expensive gift. Acts of kindness or written words of love have much more value.
AMP up the self-love in February but don’t let it stop here. Let this be the beginning of a beautiful and loving relationship with yourself. After all, once you can have an amazing relationship with yourself, you can have amazing relationships with others. Quick story…..years ago, I felt like if I did not take some “me” time, I would have a nervous breakdown. My kids were small at the time. My husband agreed to take them away on vacation while I spent 2 1/2 days nourishing myself. I stayed on the beach, went to yoga, had a massage and ayuvedic treatments, watched movies I WANTED to see at night and ate foods that I LOVE but never have because the rest of my family does not like them. I remember calling a girlfriend of mine and telling her all that I was doing. She said, “It sounds like you are having a love affair with yourself!” “YES”, I said. “That is exactly right.” What would the perfect love affair with yourself look like to you. By the way, coming to a JourneyDance class or any conscious movement class in your area would be one of the best self-love gifts you could give yourself this month. Check out the schedule below.
Have a beautiful month and look forward to hearing about all the self-love you’ll be giving yourself. Please go on FB and share what you did!!!!
Sending you all lots of love and a big hug!!!